Let me start by saying, money is not the devil. It is also not the root of all evil, and people that have it are not automatically assholes. Money is a means to which you can fund your life, and fund your passions and dreams. It is also the tool where you can use it to help those that don’t have it, help build them up, and create opportunities for those that need a breakthrough in life.
Now….can money be used to do bad things by bad people? Yep…it can. Just like money can be used to create miracles by miraculous people.
The problem as I see it, is that people have a very unhealthy relationship with money. This isn’t about whether money is good or bad, it is about examining whether or not we have healthy or unhealthy relationships with it.
For the vast majority, our relationship with money is shaped at a very young age. I vividly remember my parents classic one-liners on money…
“You have to work really hard to make money and be successful.”
“We’re going broke trying to make this work.”
“What…do you think we are made of money?”
Read those three again, can you find the silver lining or positive messaging toward money from my childhood?
No…you can’t….because there wasn’t much of it. So what do you think my relationship with money was a teen and young adult? Not good.
Money for the majority of my life was either scary, unimportant or lacking abundance. I either avoided money all together, had a negative view of people that had it, or I straight up buried my head in the sand when forced to deal with it. So how does one change their relationship with money?
I would like to give you a really simple exercise that has the potential to change your relationship with money, and possibly change your life. The starting point is getting your beliefs about money, out of your head, onto paper (or tablet), into the bright light of day where it can no longer hide.
Start by getting into a quiet space....close your eyes....breathe....and visualize yourself dealing with money. Paying bills, visiting your bank account online, buying something you have always wanted. Are these interactions positive, or does seeing yourself in these moments make you cringe? How does it feel? Are you tense, carefree, or uncertain? Do certain words pop into your mind? If you were anything like me, I would see my mom in the grocery store with a calculator, stressing about the bill. What do you see?
Once you get in tune with your energy around it, take five to ten minutes and just write out all of your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about money. If it has to be a narrative of the story you just saw unfold....write it down. Don’t worry about spelling, complete sentences or grammar. Just flow.
Now….read it out loud to yourself. Maybe do it a few times. How does it sound? Does it sound like who you want to be, or how you want to feel towards money?
Now here is where the magic happens. Write out the beliefs that you WANT to have as it relates to money. Write our your IDEAL model of the relationship with money that you are seeking. If you had a negative belief that “earning money is difficult for me”….re-write it to, “earning money is easy for me, and flows naturally.”
Once you have written out your new belief system, read them out loud. How does it sound? How does it feel? What does it look like?
Ok more magic. Now...with your new feelings and energy around money.....close your eyes and spend five minutes each day visualizing yourself having already achieved the financial success. Visualize yourself checking your bank account, paying cash for things you really want or buying that dream home with effortless swag. Walk into stores and situations, as though you already have the money available to buy whatever it is you desire. Even if you don't.....channel the feelings as though you do. When you go to check your bank account, approach it as though the balance you want to see is going to pop up on the screen.
Kind of fun right?
Re-wiring your mind through re-writing your narrative, saying it out loud and practicing visualization every day, is the key to a new relationship with money. Ok....so no more reading...go start doing. Enjoy!